NASA to announce discovery of alien life

Unlike the Church of Scientology and the U.S. Government, NASA is one cult yet to be breached by WikiLeaks. But it looks like NASA will be revealing one of its own secrets, this Thursday.

Readers may recall my trenchant criticism of NASA, here and here, which led to the Obama administration’s (wise) capitulation to my demands, here.

Well, if NASA demonstrates the existence of aliens, as indicated by the aforelinked link, then maybe the Outer Space program, virtually non-existent these days, can be redeemed. This also might finally give the SETI people something to do other than make movies.

Bad advice from disreputable people, i.e. studies by scientists

When scientists aren’t indulging in their weird fetish conferences, they are busy giving bad advice to young people.

This time around, scientists have given people even more incentive to become moderately intoxicated. Inebriation, they argue, will “lower” the risk of certain kinds of diseases. By the same logic, because drunkenness lowers inhibitions, and confidence raises attractiveness, and romantic partnerships increase lifespan, moderate drunkenness will “lower” the risk of death. But that is clearly nonsense!

And in any case, as anyone paying attention will know, buzzed driving is drunk driving. See for example this study.

You might be saying to yourself, “Wait a minute how can we reduce the risk of disease, when this guy Kevin says we are disease?” To this I say: Just because some lowly grad student named “Kevin” says something, doesn’t mean it’s true. After all, which is more likely: (1) That you are a person with free will, thoughts, feelings, and a body or (2) that some grad student on the Internet named Kevin has made an original contribution to science?

Weird Science

I have recently discovered, just now in fact, that there is another scientist who, like me, addresses topics that polite society chooses to ignore. In the case of the fittingly named Alex Wild, the topic is very, very small animals, derogatorily called bugs by scientists who choose to ignore the uncomfortable. See his daring blog here. I have added it to my links. I should say, by the way, that my links are a little stagnant. I am very, very tired these days, especially after having completed the move to Austin. Were it not for the weirdness, I would not know how to spend my time.

So, what is more creepy than bugs? Even I have trouble focusing my mind on them without beginning to plan for suicide. I just don’t know if there is anything as absolutely horrifying as this, this, this, this, this, this, or for Heaven’s sake this. There is maybe one thing more horrifying than insects.

I leave you with this nightmare:

“A Disgusting Instance of Nature,” titled by me, photographed by Alex Wild

The other other Harvard scandal

Several of you are familiar with the bestiality controversy surrounding Marc Hauser, over in faux-Cambridge.

Less reported by the media is the embarrassing revelation, now viral on over 100,000 Youtubes, that Harvard has been using video games, spliced with scenes from the more recent installments of the Star Wars franchise, to teach its students subatomic biology. See the offending video here, leaked by the Swedish watchdog organization Ardalan Biology:

This shameful behavior is indicative of the increasingly hot water in which subatomic scientists find themselves drowning. Believing in non-observational objects is one thing; believing in video games and Star Wars is another.

Can the elimination of humans foster human wellbeing?

So says this new research done by Science Daily. Thus we are now beginning to see the fruits of Sam Harris, who says that science can answer moral questions.

Well here’s an answer of science – eliminate the birthrate.

But if you eliminate the birthrate, then modus ponens you eliminate childhood, but then fortiori you eliminate adults! And what are we, if not adults?

Yet wellbeing is part of the fabric of the universe, as Brian Greene has vomited.* So you can’t have wellbeing without having the universe, and you can’t have the universe without adults.

The Vienna University of Technology should have its accreditation revoked by NIH.

*Yes, I know. A rare instance of my agreement with this Melchizedek of nonsense.

Science fail

Mr. Tomato Man, who has always been a friend to me when closest comrades have deserted, posts this link to a blog containing wonders. Sadly, the transportation specialist who maintains that blog has been absent for some time, pursuing other projects. I think personally that he should continue his noble quest to undermine the scientific establishment.