P-Values: P is for Pseudoscience!

Someone called “The American Statistician” has performed an experiment that proves that the scientific community [sic] and graduate students [sic] have been taught [sic] the wrong thing virtually for eternity. As reported by sorceress Christie Aschwanden on Vox, “Deborah Mayo is a professor [and] … teaches at Virginia Tech, not the University of Pennsylvania.” This is just one of many corrections of errors caused by the P-Value dogma blinding the sciences to my views. Is it possible that without the P-Value dogmatics, my well-established Trans-Brain Theory (studies listed) would have been excepted by now? Only time travel will tell.

Recall that my own use of a P-Value is in the context of refuting another dogmatics – the dogmatics of infinity that wanders us into the darkness of life.

How might the debunking of mainstream P-Values vindicate the theory of the brain that I have established? Well, remember my argument that the brain is distributed throughout the body, as evidenced by the location of pain sensations. It is likely that scientists reject my theory because pain sensations are not experienced in 0.05, or half, of a tenth of the human body. This is how much brain-of-body would be required by P-Value dogmatics:


This is as you can see not plausible – not even by remote. My theory establishes that a number much larger than half of a ten percent of the brain be the body. I will now close with the correct model, which should now be accepted with the elimination of P-Values.




9 thoughts on “P-Values: P is for Pseudoscience!

  1. (Posting this again here since this was a more recent post. This will be the second and last time you see this; no copypasta here. [That’s what gorilla warfare’s for.])

    Okay, first off, how old are you, because if you’re younger than 25, then there’s still hope of saving you from this New-Age Old-Age nonsense!

    Second, I get it. Infinity IS a scary concept. I mean, think about it. Picture you’re in an endless expanse, a black void where you are completely alone and somehow, despite the absence of any light, you can see yourself. (This is where a lot of people, especially people on RationalWiki, would like for you to–*SMACK*–Owwwwwwwwwwww…) Now, think on this: to the rest of the space around you, you are about the size of a grain of sand.

    But no worries; you can (for some reason) call into this endless void whatever exists in our universe, so you call in the Earth, as huge a thing as it is…yet it will still only be the size of a grain of sand relative to the rest of the void. Call in the whole solar system, and it’ll still be the relative size of a grain of sand. Call in the whole GALAXY, and it’ll still be the size of a grain of sand. CALL IN THE ENTIRE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING BEYOND THAT, AND IT’LL STILL BE THE RELATIVE SIZE OF A GRAIN OF SAND.

    Even if you blow up that universe to a million bajillion times its size (that’s about the square root of googol, I checked), it would still have that same relative size. Ditto is if you blew it up another million bagillion times (half of googolplex plus 2 and a half; my friend and I had a bit of an arms race in kindergarten with these).

    So yea, infinity is pretty hard to wrap our heads around, and that’s because we are ultimately finite creatures. Our time on this earth is finite, the boundaries of our bodies and minds are finite (psychic powers notwithstanding), even the number of palpable relationships you can have is finite. It’s hard to appreciate the vast concept of infinity if we can only experience a very small fraction of a what is really just a portion of it.

    However, despite that, putting a limit on how far numbers can go is, at best, wishful thinking, despite how intuitive it may seem to have it set at the largest number of general relevance. While some sciences, like chemistry, astronomy, physics, etc., do set a limit for distance and time as it approaches zero – the Planck length and the Planck time, respectively – that’s only because there is only so far that we can divide before it all becomes superfluous; why say an electron is one million micro-Noli-lengths when you could just say it’s one regular Noli length? (The Noli length is a trademarked length for the length of the single f**k I give about significant figures. I’m not a chemist, but I try.)

    So how about going the other way? What if we try and find your number P, the “penultimate number”, and let’s say, for the purposes of this thought exercise, we say that P equals 100,000, a rather small number compared to the likes of googolplex or Graham’s number, but still fairly large nonetheless. (Think of it this way: you wouldn’t want P people at your doorstep.) Okay, so let’s say we also have lowly 3, but 3 wants to be bigger, so it just keeps adding itself to itself, going from 3 to 6 to 9 and on and on. Now what happens, after 33,332 additions, when it reaches P? Does it stop at P when 3 is added again, even though the new value should be 100,002? Or does it continue upwards regardless of P as a limit, forcing a redefinition of P? And since P IS a quantifiable number, couldn’t we also square it and get a more massive number than P? Better yet, couldn’t we also find 2 to the POWER of P, creating an even MORE massive value?

    “Alright,” you say, “then we’ll set P to where it’s divisible with EVERYTHING up to it.” Okay, then, I reply, so P becomes (P-1)!, multiplying every number up to P together to create an insanely gargantuan number that can still be reached legitimately by exponential, additive, and multiplicative means. But herein lies the problem. The difference between P and (P-1) is, well, 1, not [(P-1)^2 – (P-1)] as it would have to be in order for P to function the way it should. As a result, you’d have to keep setting P higher and higher to satisfy the finite limit, but you find you just can’t do it: P WILL CONTINUE TO GROW BIGGER AND BIGGER AS YOU TRY TO MAKE SURE ITS CONDITIONS ARE SATISFIED.

    And here, I think I can pinpoint a flaw in your logic: infinity is NOT a number; it’s a set of numbers. While we may talk of some infinities being bigger than others, that’s because some infinities can’t be compared one to one to other infinities because there’s always going to be an intermediary value that you haven’t found yet. For example, say you have a number line going from 1 all the way through the infinity of counting numbers. For each counting number, you’ll then make a completely random infinite irrational decimal with no repeating digits, on and on forever. However, once you’re done (again, SOMEHOW), you can always do this: take the first digit from the first decimal, the second digit from the second decimal, the third from the third, and so on, and add one to each digit, looping back around to 0 if the digit was 9. Now you have a number that doesn’t correspond with anything on your number line, meaning the decimals’ infinity doesn’t have a one-to-one correspondence with the counting numbers’ infinity.

    So, you ask, why DOES it matter? None of these numbers will ever be generally relevant, so why not just set a limit to avoid taxing our brains. While chemistry and biology and astronomy may have to comply to set limits based on the limits of our own perception of the universe, mathematics is all about the theory. It’s the same reason all those math problems in elementary school have someone buying upwards of twenty carts worth of pineapples; it’s all about concepts, no matter how much it can be applied to in real life. It exists in a nebulous space where we can have grids pop in and out of existence with meaningless lines (meaningless to our reality at least) represented by meaningless numbers (” “) within a meaningless formula (^w^); employing infinity in this nebulous space isn’t just possible to do, but it’s par for the course in mathematics, ESPECIALLY when dealing with limits. (Fun fact: a LOT of limits go THROUGH infinity, like x+2, 3x, x^4 [that one does it TWICE!], etc.)

    All in all, yeaaaaaaaa, you may be a BIT wrong on this. Just saying. I’d say try not to stroke your confirmation bias so much and try to search for some actual fact supported by loads of people who not only do this stuff for a living, but do it for the love of discovery about the world around us, not because they want to introduce some illusion to the general public (or if you are a satirist, stop yelling, let go of the girl, come out of the building, and put your AK on the ground).

  2. “But if you think something is stupid – then you have to PROVE it”
    Wrong, the burden of proof lies with the person making a positive claim. Refuting a claim, and showing it to be stupid, requires exactly one counter example.

  3. Matt, what you don’t know about the burden of proof is a lot. Looks like you are learning the hard way, with a heavy load on your shoulders. Enjoy the ability to lift it – while you are young and still can.


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